The square root of 69 is 8 something. Right?

Fisheye.

Listen,

Dear lovely readers of this blog, if you have not noticed already, I use swear words almost religiously. They are the foundation of my language and some may say, turn my vast vocabulary into something like an "Angry Dictionary". Apparently, swear words are offensive. Or so I've been told. And I, as a lady, should not use them because apparently ladies don't use swear words, or something along those lines. OBVIOUSLY, whoever made that rule is wrong. I have proof that ladies CAN in fact use swear words: I am living proof! As a human with the correct female anatomy, I swear. And yet my vagina hasn't turn into a penis! INCREDIBLE! And come on, I'm not too concerned about being a lady and all that. Seriously, why is being "ladylike" so important to people? What does being "ladylike" mean anyway? What's the criteria? Do I have to sit on my ass, drink tea and gossip about other people to fit this criteria? Has anyone who's been described as being "ladylike" ever actually accomplished something other than sit on their ass, drink tea and gossip? I don't think so. Something I don't quite understand is how people could be "offended" by my swearing (of course I'm talking about outside of a classroom, job or any other professional environment). When I swear, I'm not swearing at you specifically, I usually throw in swear words in my sentences to emphasise a word or a point. I rarely say "Fuck you, you cunt" because I am a nice person. And if you really wanna think about it, the actually swear words don't mean ANYTHING! Like take "Fuck" for instance. What does that even mean really??? "Shit" is the same thing as "Crap" just with stronger connotation. If anyone has a real problem with the amount of swearing on my blog then I have a few things to say: Stop making everything about you. I am not swearing AT you. If you are so self involved that you are offended, then leave. If I specifically swear AT you, then I probably don't mean it because I don't really know you. I just swear because it comes second nature to me. Swearing doesn't make me a bad person because those few select words DO NOT describe my personnality in any way! I know I'm a nice, thoughtful person, and those five four letter words I use cannot mask my personnality in anyway. And I would hope that swear words don't mask anyone's personnality either! They just make everything a hell of a lot more FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!
So I'm going to keep swearing like I always do.
And you're gonna like it or leave it.
FUCK YAH!

FIRE FIRE FIRE! and the Atomic Bomb

We were class five destructions
You and I
Traveled in packs and ripped out eyeballs
Hunt and feed, hunt and feed
Play in the dirt
Naked and wild
But a day came when something arose
Energy came:
Combustion and flame
We touched it
We held it
It was ours
And we never looked back
To raw meat and nakedness
That was the day
We became babies
Conquered the world and beyond
Announced the Heavens
Pushed back Hades
That was the day we became men
And Earth and Sky died.

Written by: Niloo Farahzadeh