My whole life is falling apart.
Words cannot even describe how I'm feeling right now.
My family life is horrible. My parents do not understand how I feel, what I feel, why I feel it.
My parents don't know me or want to know me.
They don't care to understand the extent of my misery.
They think they do, but they don't try.
All they do is fight with me and each other.
All they do is scream and compare me with better people.
All they do is tell me I'm lazy when really I'm just miserable and hopeless.
All they do is hate.
I am extremely unhappy.
I think getting clinically depressed.
I'm starting to dislike a lot of people around me.
Especially my friends.
And I don't even know why.
I'm so unsatisfied with them; with life.
Nothing they do makes me truly happy.
And nothing I do makes me truly happy.
And even if it does, its only for one second
Then Poof, it's gone.
I can't shake this sadness.
It's not just sadness, it's hopelessness and lack of motivation also.
I feel as if no matter what I do, there's still gonna be struggle in my life.
No matter how hard I have to work now, I'll have to work twice as hard in the future.
Like there isn't any happiness to be have in life.
Like there is no love for me.
And there is no chance of true rest for me.
Everyone's going to come in my life just to hurt and leave me.
And I'm never going to be satisfied.
All this until I die.
I'm so scared.
I'm so sad.
I just wanna cry, I need help, and I don't know what to do.
Nobody gets it.

Monday.

Chilled in bed.
Showered.
Went on the computer.
Ate.
Chilled in bed.

It'd be in your best interest not to ask about what happened on Thursday...

Phresh 'till death

Please don't be mad at me...
But I have done the unthinkable:
.... I, I made a tumblr! (screams of terror)
I know I know I know what you're thinking!
I have succomb to the hipster status quo
I have conceded with the lazy non-bloggers who call themselves bloggers because they reblog random pictures and posts.
But that world, as false at it may seem, beckoned me over with its sweet, childlike cooing and I couldn't say no.
Oh, crooked world wide web! What have you made me?
I have become a hypocrite!

Kay sorry that was a bit dramatic, but seriously check out my tumblr if you so wish, it's almost as good as my blogger.
And follow me, because as of now, I have 4 followers.
http://www.phreshtilldeath.tumblr.com/

seriously, do it.

Good Talk

My biology teacher is hot:

[Nicole Nyffeler]

holy fuck, go away english homework

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
haha at least you dont have 15 scholarship essays, a lit 12 essay, a bio project, AP exam to study for, Grad Transitions, College Applocation work and English 100 exam all due within a month.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
you sure have a lot on yo plate guuuurl

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
and for what? for four years of the same shit just without financial support. Education is overrated. If i grew a dick I could be earning a thousand dollars a day in the rigs.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
oh my god, i know right?

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
and what with the major economical collapse of the near futur its not like we're gonna become rich or anything. Life is gonna be hard and then we're gonna die.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
that awkward time between when you're born and you die

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
haha basically. with the exception of when you're intoxcated.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
just go through your entire life shitfaced

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
sounds healthier than feeling...

[Nicole Nyffeler]
ugh, feelings are overrated

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
I'm sorry about the Prince Hamlet/Holden Caulfield/Alaska yourng moment I had back there...

[Nicole Nyffeler]
hahaha i enjoyed it

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
Every fucking book has one of those.
and its always a teenager.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
because don't you know, teenagers are hardwired to be pissy no matter what

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
and question the significance of everything.
great.
i cant see why adults dont see it.
Its fucking stupid. And they made it that way.

sorry. im just mad i have so much hmw.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
no i get it. it's aight homie g

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
so im stoked about t shirt making this weekend.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
and the fact that we have a 4 day weekend, whaaat

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
yaaaa mooon! Im pretty fucking stoked.
Can we omegle?
actually no, Emma you and me and malia should hang out.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
hahahhaha without any unnecessary divkd
dicks

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
like?
who?

[Nicole Nyffeler]
dicks on omegle haha

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
okay yah. and this will be seperate from any parties happening. its gonna be down time.
girls niiiiight!

[Nicole Nyffeler]
oh haaaaaale yes!

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
im fucking stoked!
btw im drawing a pancreas.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
oh baby
i like dat

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
its one sexy gland let me tell you.
what with all the juices it secretes

[Nicole Nyffeler]
thine sexiest of all thine glandular bits

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
oooo baby babayyy. la la la la la la la la

[Nicole Nyffeler]
this chico right here gotta secrete baby

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
HAHAHAHA! fuck that was good

[Nicole Nyffeler]
oh i know, i thought of it and i was like FUCK YAH

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
Ms huggins would appreciate.
btw she's fucking hot.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
oh my god i know!

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
like she looked really good today

[Nicole Nyffeler]
if i were a dude or a lesbo i would totally tap

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
meee too!

[Nicole Nyffeler]
oh she always looks good!

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
i look around the room and im like: How are these guys not jumping out of their chairs???

[Nicole Nyffeler]
my goodness, i would be!
i hear her boyfriend's hot though haha
they shall have very attractive offspring

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
yah i think i saw him at wal mart but i didnt have a good gander. I wanna see him now!
he better be hot!

[Nicole Nyffeler]
oh i know right?
or i will be upset

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
i will lose all faith in... biology
and darwins theory of natural selection
Ms huggins will be living a lie

[Nicole Nyffeler]
i will loose faith in her ability to be hot and pick someone else to procreate with who is also hot

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
what would the universe be if ms huggins was dating down?

[Nicole Nyffeler]
A BIG FAT LIE

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
i wanna save this conversation somehow.

[Nicole Nyffeler]
copy and paaste
drop that mothafucka in a word and you're good
also me thinks i might just finish painting this fucker tomorrow after school and just do all my typing stuff tomorrow at school and sacrifice my flexes for the better good of this altered book

[Niloo Farahzadeh]
it didnt work. good plan

[Nicole Nyffeler]
well i'm out, i'll message you this convo you silly sill sill

I read Great Expectations when I was seven

And I hadn't gotten the point of it till now...

There's nothing wrong with what you just said, but it's the way you said it.