Nobody actually knows me.
Like, all of me.
Not even my friends. They think they do, but they don't.
I kinda realized this yesterday. I mean, I think I always kinda knew it, but it hit me in a big way yesterday.
It's actually kinda sad.
The thing that made me realize was when somebody told me that I don't stick up for myself.
And I don't sometimes-which he was right about-but it was his general judgment he was making that really bothered me.
It seemed that he thought I WANTED to stick up for myself. (I understand how bad this sounds but just listen for a sec). He'd assumed I'd been really offended by a few people that just poke fun at me sometimes and that I just take it because I'm too powerless to stick up for myself and tell them to stop.
The thing is: It doesn't bother me, ACTUALLY. And I hadn't taken much offense to it because I actually don't care when these stupid people make fun of me. I don't take myself that seriously, and I also don't feel like fighting with stupid people anyway. I KNOW they have no power over me, and they ACTUALLY DON'T BOTHER ME! I'm serious, if something was bothering me, everyone would know, cuz I suck at keeping my emotions to myself. That's how much I don't care when those people poke fun at me. (Enough about that rant)
But what my friend said bothered me. Cuz I realized he thought I was a weak person.
And in many ways I am, but not in the way that I wouldn't stop people that were bothering me. (It's funny cuz I'm actually the kinda person who would STOP associating with someone who bothers me)


Though that got me to thinking, what else do my friends not know about me?
They don't actually know what I'm passionate about.
They don't actually know why I make the decisions I make.
They probably think I'm a bitch for no reason.
I guess part of that is my fault also, because I don't like to show people the real me (in case they don't like the real me)
But what about the little things?
Like hobbies, music, likes and dislikes, what makes me me?
Alot of people I am friends with don't actually know these things about me!
They don't even really ask!
Yah, it's kinda sucky. No one actually knows me.